Last updated on 18 January 1998.
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Hi everyone, happy holidays. It's time again to run around like maniacs and then sit back and relax and eat yummy foods. It's also time to look back at the past 366 days and call it a year. It was a long and weird year, which is how I like them.
Now for the annual year-in-review 1992: James Stockdale made even Dan Quayle look good... reality imitating art (maybe vice versa?) with Woody... Fergie's hooters... clowns protested the Shakes the Clown movie resulting in an anti-clown backlash. It's comforting to know just how many people hate clowns. Although, they are very good carpoolers... Eddie Savowitz's underwear collection... Johnny Carson retired... a 1 day city workers strike... Mike Tyson finally completed the rags to riches to rags cycle... "There is no recession".... Philadelphia's first Jewish Mayor, Ed Rendell made good on his campaign promise and scrubbed City Hall... The Queen of England and Lynn Yeakel both volunteered to pay taxes... "If anyone has a better idea, I'm all ears"... Greg Brady put out his I was a Sleazy Brady book. Although there was no mention of it, I'm certain that there was something going on between Florence Henderson and Tiger which resulted in Tiger's disappearance from the cast. Robert Reed, aka Mike Brady, announced his homosexuality. Florence Henderson can do that to a man... Hillary bashing... "If George Bush wants to run for First Lady, that's fine with me, but I'm running for President"... Wilson Goode managed to make an even bigger ass of himself on three separate occasions. He's going to be as much fun of an ex-mayor as the late Frank Rizzo was!.. "O" hats... after all the hype, European unity was postponed... Madonna put out her $50 smut book. Everyone who bought it was screwed. Now that's what I call safe sex... PSFS died, fortunately the big neon letters will live on... City Hall Tower re-opened... Mr. Potatoe Head... a hurricane leveled part of Florida... "Why can't we all just get along together?"... In spite of a multi-million dollar public disinformation campaign, the Cable TV Re-Regulation bill passed. My cable company actually included ready-to-mail letters to my senators for me to sign asking them to vote no on the bill. How stupid do they think I am? After raising my bill 60% in the last five years, they actually thought I would ask my senators to let them gouge me more... Windsor and LA burned, but Camden didn't... "Bozo" and "Ozone" won and the recession finally affected George Bush, who I started calling "No Ozone Man"... the suburbs kicked in some bucks to keep Septa running on the weekends... Bill Clinton rode the Frankford El and had coffee at the Mayfair Diner... hundreds of thousands of office jobs vanished... Sam Kinison died young but left an ugly corpse... My favorite TV show: The Dionne Warwick Psychic Friends Infomercial. Dionne should consult her Psychic Friends about a make-over... "But I didn't inhale"... Ed Rendell made all the right moves, let's hope he can keep it up... the post office let the public decide between the younger rock 'n' roll Elvis or the older Las Vegas Elvis. We were very disappointed 1) the older Elvis was nowhere near fat enough, 2) it wasn't printed on black velvet... Dan Quayle picked on Murphy Brown... Hulk Hogan must have started crapping himself when Lyle Alzado died of side effects from steroids... "Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, Wilson Phillips just announced that they disbanding"...I was the only person in town who didn't get a glimpse of Denzel Washington ... "If he runs the presidency as well as he ran his campaign, we'll be in good hands"... we got stuck in the middle of a Tall Cedars of Lebanon parade. Totally bizarro... car jackings were up, Elvis sightings were down... RIP: The Dennis Miller Show. Funny, hip, intelligent, it didn't have a chance... Willie Williams went west. Weally... we took in a homeless unwed mother-to-be who mercifully only had two kittens... George Bush couldn't understand how someone could protest against his government in a foreign country while "young men from ghetto" were dying. Apparently it was more patriotic to support sending "young men from the ghetto" off to war while your own sons dodged the draft... Philadelphia's Catholic High Schools were saved... the New World Order finally recognized the crisis in Somalia... and Philadelphia's classic rock radio enslavement ended when Long Island NY station WDRE started simulcasting on 103.9 in November. I had never seen so much excitement about a new radio station. The really cool thing is that the station seems committed to serving both markets equally.
A few things to look for and/or forward to in 1993: The shiny new Pennsylvania Convention Center in Center City Philadelphia... the sounds of gridlock ending... possible changes in China... Dave Letterman jumping to a new time and/or a new network... George and Barbara Bush actually breaking ground on their postage stamp size lot in Houston. Maybe they'll build an Elvis stamp... policy wonks... hopefully Sinead O'Connor will finally receive much needed psychiatric help... the further colorization of the Inquirer... Clover moving into the Gallery... phone companies moving into cable TV and cable TV companies moving into phone service... Thanksgiving Eve "Drunk Like Skunks, Dance Like Wolves II", location TBA... the Elvis stamp... global outrage over barbaric child labor practices in Asia... an all-out effort to solve Philadelphia's homeless problem... a federal gasoline tax... Walmart, Home Depot and Nordstroms plan on coming to town... Jonathan Demme's new movie, tentatively called Philadelphia... less opportunities to enjoy George Bush's version of the English language... the Atlantic City Gateway Project. Viva Las Vegas... a new New Order record... and an energetic new administration.
Eat, drink, be merry and enjoy the holidays. We wish you a very happy and peaceful 1993.
© 1992 by Scoats. All rights reserved. All glories to Bob Dylan.
Last updated on 18 January 1998.
This page administered by Scoats.